These last few days have been an emotional rollercoaster. I am an optimistic, glass-half-full person by nature but this has left a cloud hanging over my head and a heaviness in my chest that I just can’t shake. I’d be lying to you if I said that I was okay, or that anyone in my family was okay.
The reality is that everything feels completely impossible right now. Continuing with business as usual, working, focus, loving my fellow humans and keeping my heart open. What I really want to do is flip tables over and scream. I am deep in despair, angst, and heartbreak these days as I watched yet another Black man casually murdered for the world to witness.
The nation sees our continued dehumanization, our blood spilled and our desperate cries to be treated as equals. It meets our continued cries with disdain, empty words and turns its back. Time after time, my countrymen look for reasons to justify violence perpetrated against us. They point fingers when people respond in an “inappropriate” way. The reality is that the onus has been put on us to be palatable, to avoid getting ourselves killed or unfairly accused. We’re tired. I’m tired and frankly heartbroken. I know that life will continue to move on, but for right now I’m just sitting in the emotions of hurt and sadness that are hanging over our nation.
There’s not much that I have to share except that I’m sending love to the Black community. I appreciate those who are out there protesting and speaking out. I appreciate all the messages of love and solidarity I’ve received from friends in America and abroad. I love you all dearly.
For those of you who want to learn more about these issues, I’m leaving some resources below which I think are helpful.
The Anti-Racist Reading List
Trevor Noah on why people are rioting.
How to Raise Race-Conscious Children
Talking to your children about racism.